Few months back I forwarded a personality test (that I still think it’s pretty accurate) to someone I barely knew.
For the first time, I attempted to get to know a person through sets of questionnaire and data interpretation. And when something turned out not as expected, I thought to myself, “is it you or just your personality?”
That was such a whimsical move (now I can laugh about).
I’ve never been a fan of labels – it irks me to see people attach labels to arbitrary personality traits.
“Are you an introvert or extrovert?” “He’s the type of person that…”
To me, the measure of character is through idiosyncrasies, pet-peeves, the guilty pleasures they fail to quit, the drunk texts they send on a Saturday night and completely forget the next morning, the way they use flirty sarcasm in defense of a sense of insecurity, etc.
These are not the most glamorous moments of a person, yet the most peculiar and little details that sketch a much more concrete idea than the damn analysis.
I’m not dismissing horoscope or all the personality tests as not legitimate.
Ironically, I’ve always considered myself a typical Capricorn, or a solid ENFP.
We are bought into these zodiac interpretation and survey analysis because they sketch an idea of a person and shed light on the good side of them. They allow us to fantasize a romantic clash of serendipity.
We are so obsessed with these rigid models of personality as if the whole world could be reduced to a set of multiple choice questions, and the answer was A.
However, as much as one can predominantly lean towards being a “something,” so much of human behaviors are unparalleled and unpredictable.
To me, getting to know a person is the process of accessing an authentic part of the self, with both parties being openly ready. Just as how I want to learn about people story by story, I want to be understood not by a word, but through words.
Extroversion and introversion, or any type of the sixteen personalities, isn’t an either/or type of thing. It’s a spectrum where you can lie anywhere along the line. It’s the concoction in which you can mix whatever ingredients or elements.
That isn’t to say all connections are a matter of work, but they’re definitely not forced. Not wedging into an old story. Not constantly checking to see if they measure up to expectations. Because things fit naturally.
With this mindset, I’ve come to spend less time making excruciating small talks and more time nurturing friendships with people worth investing in, whom I care for, and who I know reciprocate my love and support.
I will always try to preserve my free spirits, because without it, I will have no words to write, no love to give, and a much less thorough idea of who I am.
And you don’t have to lose any part of yourself, because all characteristics are meant to coexist to form your unique self.
You can be responsible yet spontaneous,
diligent yet creative,
pragmatic yet hopeful.
You’re the collection of all of you, including your personality.