oh her

yeah i know her

when i think of her i see her dancing. but only in the kitchen. music and food to her were love and feeding people was loving them

she carried pasta. babies. boxes and steadiness on her hips the way mothers. movers and queen’s do

i remember that she laughed like a bell. or like windchimes in a storm. piercing tumult with levity that could be heard even in the distance

she had a tendency to look for the eyes in the room that saw the unspoken the same way she did. she found him that way

they heard silence and read undercurrents the same. while those around them heard only spoken words and saw only tangible figures.

she had the ability to curl into the cozy corner of a strangers couch like it was her own and leaves as an already old and trusted friend.

she was comfortable like that – shoeless, makeupless, planless… she had finally settled into her skin once she learned that you can’t feel another’s love fully until you feel your own

she felt the world like shouldering a duffle bag of bricks and when they felt too heavy. she set them down and tried to make something

not always something functional, but whimsical and beautiful and intentional… at the least

she wasn’t great with her hands. but her mind made up for the lack of dexterity. in fact. she was never really the best, but she humbly linked arms with gratitude and recognized that “best” was subjective and perhaps overrated anyhow but humility. integrity. and enthusiasm were. well. unbiased

she was the kind that looked for her reflection in others and was careful that she looked back at someone she wanted to be. if she saw a meanness. she addressed her own. if she saw a lack of awareness. she sought her own accountability.

but really. the reflection was always changing because so was she

and change to her was not just a welcome guest. but a carriage. one she willingly stepped into. because moving anywhere was usually better standing still

so yeah. i know her. i see her heart. because she really tries to show – often and without pretense. it’s confusing to some. but the ones that see it. really do